Crap

The Air Conditioner stopped functioning and here I am wide awake in the early hours of another day that has just dawned.

All that I am getting to do now to kill time is just work on the forums and browse through some really nice stuffs. Not much of activity in the forums either. Been trying to solve a few of them without the logon. Pathetic I am….No use at all….I just cant manage to get the issues solved without the logon ! Not many on the GTalk. None at all on the Yahoo Messenger. I miss those smileys on the Messenger. There was a time when I used to love using the ROTFL and :D emojis. It’s been real long. I miss them all.

I am listening to this song ‘Unnale Unnale…’ from the movie titled ‘Unnale Unnale’. I don’t know why, but I love listening to this song. I am never bored of it. I particularly love this line,

Nadhi meedhu sarugai pol,

Un paadhai varugindren

Karai thetri viduvaayo

Gadhimoksham tharuvayo

Did I get the lyrics right? No clue, but I guess it does make some sense.

Saranya is getting married. Wowww…I cant believe this ! Marriage mania on the rise here amongst friends. A lot many of them are eagerly looking forward to get married. I guess that’s the last resort to get yourself back home from whichever DC on earth !!! Mum and Dad are leaving to Kolkata in some time. They want me here for Vinayaka Chavithi. Hmmm….Too early to get back. Got to come back once sometime before Sis leaves.

Hyderabad is becoming my second home town. I am getting to experience my much wanted independence. Away from home, away from parents, away from friends, away from the comfort zone where I have always remained cocooned for almost 20 years, it feels strange and odd. At least Hyd keeps me busy and away from some hard and serious thinking. Mum and Dad are seriously planning to marry me off to some Hyderabadi :P

Lolzzz…..well, the mania seems to have hit them too !

Marriage and Love. The words don’t strike a chord to me in anyway, anymore. No denials…Love is the most beautiful thing on earth provided you meet your Mr/Ms Perfect. But that’s exactly where the problem lies. You get to bump on some real jerks en route this journey.

Sometimes, you meet them and things fall in place. Lucky they ! Few other times, you only have to be contented about having met him/her. And thanks to Murphy, things will never fall in place. You only end up making a mess of yourself. Hearts break. But life goes unnoticed and unruffled. Sometimes, its all easy for some to move on with life...'You didnt respond...life moves on'...How true...Honestly, that's what life is. Not just love, but also of lies and treason.

Love is not a deer for whom you go hunting. It happens by itself and when it happens, you experience the most beautiful and serene feeling on this earth. When it’s no more meant for you, it’s the most painful feeling ever on this earth.Its never easy to forget the past especially when the past meant and still means so much, how much ever trivial it may sound to others.

I have experienced a sort of mixed emotions this time in Chennai. I was way too confused the first day of my visit. A few chats with my friends about nothing in particular, but somehow everything in general was enlightening. I happened to make a clear picture of what exactly the problem was. That helped me reach a few conclusions. Few points that I put across to them was actually not meant for them, but for me. When I wrote, I knew I wasn't writing those words of realization for them, but for my own self. Life moves on. Yes....ruthlessly....I have a career now. My future is bleak. I got to set that right before I start bothering myself with other stuffs and make a mess of my own self. Yes, there were times when I was irrationally hurt, or precisely, there were times when I hurt myself irrationally, but all in the game of life that's lifeless now. I want a life, a career that will make me happy. I don't want to be the best in everything I do. I just want to be satisfied with whatever I do. I'm not ambitious, or I'm not one of the best minds around. I only want to have the best of my mind always and make a life for myself. I need something that will make me forget things. Work...Work like hell...work till I'm all exhausted and done with everything.....