B A T T L E O F T H E S E X E S

This is an attempt to mimic the fortnightly edition of 'He says, She says' column that appears on the Hindu 'Metro Plus'.

He says:

Why are women dumb, boring, religious and not to forget mentioning their greatest mace against unfortunate guys – Weepers!!!???

Guys spend their time sweeping the weeps, yet she’s not convinced. Show her a diamond ring and there she goes !!! The heaps of weeps disappear into thin air. What a pity !!! A women’s smile at the cost of the guy’s annual savings ! Adding to these, she expects a few romantic liners to be thrown at her. Even if the ring looks ugly on her hands, (Yikes !!! She has ugly hands ! Why did I spend my savings on these ugly hands :-( ) the guy is supposed to remain composed and sweet talk just to make her smile. Every guy needs to carry a dictionary for sweet talking (he might run out of words because the girl is never contended !) Yeh dil maange more !!

DUMB ! Girls are all dumb. They can get boring to the peak. Their analytical skills are far too pathetic. But all girls are like that. So guys have no other choice but to choose the okay types of the lot (Unless the guy is gay!) Talk to them about sports, current affairs, economics, all that you get is a strange blank look ! Conversations less than an hour disappoint them. All the precious time in the world is lost babbling absolute non sense ! No friends, no night outs, no family !

You got to come up with poor jokes to make her laugh. Never can a guy have an informed conversation with a girl. They are too horny and all that they do is gossip and bitch about their friends or make a list of their likes and dislikes, hoping that the guy would get her a dress or a gold ornament for her birthday (owww…that’s just once in a year ! How about Anniversaries, valentine’s day, friendship’s day……)

'INVEST TIME AND MONEY' !

She says:

Weepers ! For your kind information, tears are a way of expressing her emotions. And, if you are looking out for dried rivers or a desert, there are few who don’t turn on their waterfalls even on the slightest provocation. Try them ! Girls very well know how to control their emotions.

Guys are hypocrites. Their charade does not last long. They erupt like a volcano making life difficult for the girl and now, it’s the girl’s turn to calm him down (like she does not have any other work !)

Diamond rings ! Give us a break ! She never asked you to gift her a diamond ring. You did tat of your own interest. And why do guys conveniently forget all that a girl has done for the guy. Romantic liners !! What’s the harm?? When she was ready to spend thousands on hair straightening, manicuring and pedicuring just for you, what’s the harm in coming up with such liners. You tried all that out during the wooing process !

The guy tries out every possible means to woo the girl because it’s always the best part in a relationship. If her analytical skills had been good, she would have never chosen you. She would have looked out for somebody with sense.

The guy does everything to corner the girl and proposes at a time when the girl can't say no. Cleverly played ! And once the thing is accomplished, it’s time for finding faults !

All the while it’s really strange that the guy never realized that the girl was dumb ! Why was he so dumb enough to choose a girl whom he alleges is dumb? And there are girls who love sports. Why is it always a thing of a man ! When she was ready to listen to your stupid talks (Certain things are not universally interesting and likeable) you can lend an ear as well in return !

Losing precious time is purely a result of the guys’ inefficiency to balance many things at a time. When he knew he would be missing out on so many things, why in the first place does he want a girl in his life !! hmmm…Spice !!! That’s third rated !

Guys
'INVEST TIME AND MONEY FOR GREATER FAVORABLE RETURNS IN THE FUTURE'